COMMUNICATING- part of Hearts, Arts & Healing Exhibit, Kitchener, On Jan 30-Mar 11
I found myself thinking a lot about the challenges I face communicating when I am feeling overwhelmed. I am a very social, talkative person. I have done a lot of public speaking, been a tour guide, and have been published in a compilation of short stories on mental health.(Sharing- Volume 7, An Anthology of Empowerment Stories)
There are times that I literally cannot find the words to say, nor speak aloud because there are too many thoughts going through my head simultaneously. For someone who is often called eloquent, this disconnect is especially frustrating.
The internal hyperactivity can also cause extreme emotional responses. known as emotional hyperarousal and it is devastating. I find myself easily upset or irritated, impulsively saying something inappropriate or starting an argument, unable to recognize how others are feeling or reacting. This leads to much regret and shame on my part and can cause friction between friends and family, colleagues, employers etc…
There is a lot of red in my art as that is the colour that most represents the intensity, the energy and the passion of “overwhelm”. The hydro tower or transmission tower, as it is sometimes called, feels very much like the perfect representation of my struggle with communication. It is constantly sending electrical energy through its interconnected grid and when there is a power surge and it is put under stress, it stops functioning. Just like me.